Are you still procrastinating? I am and then I am not. So many times in my life I have told myself that I am not good enough. Because, of course, if I were better at writing, learning, and getting more projects accomplished I would be GREAT! (Tony the Tiger from childhood commercials).
What it really was was my own fear and self-negative doubt that was holding me back. Every time I made a decision that I thought would be helping, it ended up hurting someone I cared for or myself. Can you say limiting belief?
Stop, Start Learn, Overcome, Start All Over Again
Until you can find tools to cope directly and positively…your fear or phobia will block your ability to take action
Neil Fiore, Ph.D, the Now Habit
My plans for this month were to examine deeper into why I procrastinate. Here is what I have found out about myself thus far:
- I don’t set boundaries
- I don’t write down my goals and the steps for them in detail
- I don’t have an accountability person
- I don’t have enough time
- If I don’t complete a task, I will never fail!
Sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it? What can help this bad flow of mental state is to turn the negative statements into positive and motivating statements?
- Instead of I don’t set boundaries – Find out what they are and write them down
- Instead of not writing down goals/steps – Write the goals and processes so they are not abstract in only MY head.
- Instead of no accountability – Find and maintain a relationship in a group, or individual to tell me and keep me on task.
- Instead of I don’t have enough time – Track my time in 15-20 minute increments and see why time flies!!!
- Instead of being afraid of failure – Say that “There are no mistakes, only lessons” Ruth Soukup
Easier Said than Done
Yes, the idea of shifting your thoughts to choose action instead of complacency can be difficult. Especially if you have been speaking negatively your whole life.
Consider the Serenity Prayer –
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
Reinhold Niebuhr
Dr. Fiore adapted it to a “Stress Prayer”
Grant me the stubbornness to struggle against things I cannot change; the inertia to avoid work on my own behaviors and attitudes which I can change, and the foolishness to ignore the differences between external events beyond my control and my own controllable reactions. Bust most of all, grant me a contempt for my own human imperfection and the limits of human control.
Wow, that’s a mouthful!
Why I Fear
I said earlier that my limiting belief came from childhood trauma. When I was nine, I trusted an adult. Without going into detail, I would just say that I was hurt, and he went to prison. Even at nine, it was difficult to see him in the courtroom when I testified against him.
I tell myself that I am ok; I’m alive and have no physical scars to remind me. The scars are only in my mind and many of the memories have faded because I healed with help from my family and speaking with a therapist. As an adult, I can look back and know that I am not from my past. Negative experiences from your past do not define your present nor should they enter your future.
What is My Next Step?
I’m going to really take a look at my goals and break them down into steps, match it with my other obligations (like work, holidays, weekend stuff), and REALLY write down my plan. Maybe I’ll even get one of those BIG boards for everyone to see. That way, everyone can see my goals!
Yikes! Scary stuff for me. Here is to – Not holding myself back any more!
Let me know what scares you and why you procrastinate.