When you look out your window first thing in the morning, what do you see? I see (on a nice morning) the sun shining through the trees, people walking by with their dogs, children headed to the bus stop or playing outside. The early morning can be hectic, or it can be peaceful. Noticing the small things in life can be wonderful for your equilibrium. Finding the balance in life, the Ying and Yang, ebb and flow, changing of the seasons, etc., is what we all strive towards in our lives. How do we achieve it? Good question!
The “Little” Things in Life
One of my “things” is noticing the little incidents, actions, or moments that make me happy. Of course, I don’t always see them in the middle of a frustrated or anxious state of mind. However, the most frequent action I notice with myself is “I am breathing”. In the movie Gross Pointe Blanc, John Cusack’s character gets advice from his therapist played by Alan Arkin over the phone, “Repeat after me. This is me breathing.” This statement is about staying present or in other words, “mindful”.
Being mindful gives you time to find out what you really need in your life. My list contains items that are essential in my life and can’t live without. What I notice about my list is that about halfway through it really becomes things that I can control directly. They are:
- Love
- Family
- Hugs
- A Smile
- A good night of sleep
- Good Friends
- Music
- A good cup of coffee
- Telephone
- A good glass of wine
Love, Love, Love
Let me go into a little more detail about this list. First, Love. We all need this at some point in our lives. If not, our engagement with others can be lost. There is love between a parent and child and two people and each produces chemicals in our brain; dopamine (the pleasure chemical), oxytocin (the cuddle chemical), and a couple of others that play in attraction, attachment, or just lust.
It’s a Family Affair
You can’t choose your family. They are a gift for you to learn from and teach as they are to you. They show us the possibilities of our future and the remembrance of the past. There are stories to tell and pass along. My great grandfather tossed a coin to figure out which of two jobs he was going to do. One side would have taken him to Florida. The other side (which the coin toss won) told him to go work on the Alaska Pipeline. He made a great deal of money with this chance and was able to provide well for his family. Family is not only needed for our very livelihood but to provide us guidance from their history, love, and genetics.
How about a Hug?
I often give and receive hugs. During finals in my junior year of college, I was leaving the library after cramming to finish a term paper. Students stood outside the library with signs “Free Hugs”. Thinking it was an experiment led by the psychology department, I looked on with hesitation. It wasn’t. It was designed by the student body. Student volunteers gave the hugs. These volunteers did what many know without understanding. Human contact is essential to our mental health. Hugging is known to reduce your levels of cortisol, blood pressure, and heart rate. Give someone a hug today!
If You Just Smile
A smile can light up a room. It can bring reassurance. It is welcoming and inviting and it just makes us HAPPY!!! A smile can also be contagious. It produces some of the same brain chemicals that love produce; namely dopamine, endorphins, and serotonin. If we see someone smile at us, we often smile back. Just try to not smile next time you are greeted this way. One last question – Have you ever seen a smiling happy baby and not felt better?
Sleepy Time
I know that when I don’t get enough sleep, I am tired, yawning all day, and staying somewhat alert by drinking large amounts of coffee. Sleep is what our brain needs to reset our body and mind. When in this simulated vegetative state, our body recuperates from the strains of the day and our neural network reconnects and processes our memories from our day.
Sleep serves to reenergize the body’s cells, clear waste from the brain, and support learning and memory. It even plays vital roles in regulating mood, appetite, and libido.
“What happens in the brain during sleep?” in Scientific American 26, 5, 70 (September, 2015)
Get a good night’s sleep. Sleep helps us to not become part of the “Walking Dead” community.
With a Little Help from my Friends
We all need friends that are separate from our romantic partners. Our friends can lower our heart rate and make us live longer. Guess which hormones the brain produces when we are with our friends? Oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin. Yep, the same that is produced with love and hugs. Amazing!
Music Makes the World Go Round, The World Go Round
Music can heal our souls. Listening to an upbeat song, can make us tap our feet, snap our fingers, and sing aloud even if we have a terrible singing voice. Every culture has its style and evolution. What we listen to can define our origins of country, region, or culture.
Last but not Least
The last three items on my list are more personal. They are about personal feelings and experiences. When I look out at that window first thing in the morning, I enjoy smelling the aroma of a freshly brewed cup of coffee. The other day I commented to my husband about the sensation I felt as it moves slowly down my throat warming me from the inside. It is a very mindful moment.
The telephone can go with either talking on the phone as I did as a child. However, now it can be with that cup of coffee in the morning. It is a way to connect to family, friends, new opportunities, and communication at an exponential rate because of social media on a cell phone.
Let’s not forget about that glass of wine. The last item on my list. Sharing a bottle of wine is a social aspect to be shared with loved ones; family or friends.
What is your List?
Everyone has a list or an idea of one in their head. Is your list about mindfulness? Your bucket list? What is the list of items you can’t live without now or what you want in the future? Share your list.
